Comedy

Will Durst’s primer for new grads

Will Durst

And now an open letter to all you new grads. Congratulations. Good job. Way to go. Bet you thought this day would never come. And if memory serves, it probably almost didn’t. Anyhow, welcome to the real world. And please be aware that we use that term very loosely. You’re going to love it out here. Might find it surprisingly ...

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Put a fork in him; Sterling-Silver stuff rejects racism

Will Durst

Wasn’t what you would call the most favorable week for old white racist men. Then again, these weeks, not many are. How bad did it get for ancient intolerant Caucasian males? Bowling ball dropped on your little toe from a height of nine feet bad. Brazilian soccer stampede bad. Donald Trump testifying at your rent-hearing bad. First, Cliven Bundy, the ...

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Will Durst: Halcyon days return with tsunami of tech

Will Durst

A tsunami of tech is engulfing our nation, and in the process, redecorating communities like a family of grizzly bears locked in a Volkswagen Van. A family of obscenely paid bespectacled grizzly bears with a taste for artisanal toast. Remember back in high school when the freaks and geeks and nerds were ostracized and used as objects of scorn and ...

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Your bucks are nibbled to death by ducks

Will Durst

These days, the only thing harder than making money is hanging onto it. Easier to protect dandelion fuzz in a tornado. Everywhere you go, everyone wants a taste. Their only job is to get a grip on your money. And some of these folks are pretty darn good at their jobs. Solicitations. Donations. Handouts. Charges. Taxes. Commissions. Percentages. Invoices. Expenses. ...

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Will Durst: Recycling the Cold War

Will Durst

After an absence of 25 years, it’s downright ducky to be able to welcome back one of the great sociopolitico conflicts in the history of the planet. How about a round of applause folks, because the Cold War is back and it’s colder and warrier than ever. Like an old friend popping up on your doorstep after moving to South ...

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Will Durst: president goes ‘Between 2 Ferns’

Will Durst

It was more amusing than piano-playing kittens to see Barack Obama plug the Affordable Care Act on Zach Galifianakis’ Internet comedy show. Not late night. Not basic cable. An Internet show: “Between 2 Ferns.” Even funnier was the president trotting out the same expression he normally reserves for Bill O’Reilly interviews. The chief executive is apparently working his way down ...

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Will Durst: With friends like these, who needs enemas?

Will Durst

Alright. Woo-hoo. We’re partying now. With the kind of enthusiasm normally reserved for sorting Phillips head screws from flat head screws, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer publicly vetoed SB 1062, legislation that would provide legal cover to businesses denying services based on the operator’s religious beliefs. The return of Jim Crow with a cactus beat. Yes, the finger-jabbing governess banged down ...

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Will Durst: Hang on to your dreams, political animals

Will Durst

For all those who have spent the last couple of months shoveling out a car, you should know we’re at the tail end of awards season. And best be advised to hunker in a bunker wearing a Kevlar overcoat, because gold plated statues are being tossed about like air kisses at a gown fitting. Like clouds of bathroom hair spray ...

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